Friday, April 24, 2009

Mr.Bean full....


1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:

Friend: What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!


5) Marriage:

Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?

Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?

Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.


6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?

Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you take anyway?

Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.


7)DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:

Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.

Friend: condolence, my friend.

(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder

Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!


8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.

Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.


9) Spelling lesson:

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?

Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!



Awesome English
U just cannot beat the 'English' in Bihar!!!

Any guesses, what Child Beer means?
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It means chilled beer. Ha ha ha...
Don't scratch your head now.
Mr. Bean continous..

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9
Mr.Bean continous...


Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

Mr.Bean...


1) BRAIN TUMOR:

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
Mother...

Orang kata aku lahir dari perut ibu..
Bila dahaga, yang susukan aku.. ibu
Bila lapar, yang suapkan aku..ibu
Bila keseorangan, yang sentiasa di sampingku.. ibu
Kata ibu, perkataan pertama yang aku sebut.. Bu!
Bila bangun tidur, aku cari.. ibu
Bila nangis, orang pertama yang datang ..ibu
Bila nak bermanja... aku dekati ibu
Bila nak bergesel... aku duduk sebelah ibu
Bila sedih, yang boleh memujukku hanya ibu
Bila nakal, yang memarahi aku... ibu
Bila merajuk... yang memujukku cuma..ibu
Bila melakukan kesalahan... yang paling cepat marah..ibu
Bila takut... yang tenangkan aku.. ibu
Bila nak peluk... yang aku suka peluk..ibu

Aku selalu teringatkan ..Ibu
Bila sedih, aku mesti talipon... Ibu
Bila seronok... orang pertama aku nak beritahu... Ibu
Bila bengang.. aku suka luah pada ..Ibu
Bila takut, aku selalu panggil.. "ibuuuuuuuuuuuuu! "
Bila sakit, orang paling risau adalah ..Ibu
Bila nak exam, orang palin g sibuk juga Ibu
Bila buat hal, yang marah aku dulu..Ibu
Bila ada masalah, yang paling risau.. Ibu
Yang masih peluk dan cium aku sampai hari ni.. Ibu
Yang selalu masak makanan kegemaranku. . Ibu
Yang selalu simpan dan kemaskan barang-barang aku, Ibu
Yang selalu berleter kat aku.. Ibu
Yang selalu puji aku.. Ibu
Yang selalu nasihat aku.. Ibu
Bila nak kahwin..
Orang pertama aku tunjuk dan rujuk... Ibu

Aku ada pasangan hidup sendiri
Bila seronok... aku cari pasanganku
Bila sedih... aku cari Ibu
Bila berjaya... aku ceritakan pada pasanganku
Bila gagal... aku ceritakan pada Ibu
Bila bahagia, aku peluk erat pasanganku
Bila berduka, aku peluk erat Ibuku
Bila nak bercuti... aku bawa pasanganku
Bila sibuk... aku hantar anak ke rumah Ibu
Bila sambut valentine... Aku hadiahi bunga pada pasanganku
Bila sambut hari ibu... aku cuma dapat ucapkan Selamat Hari Ibu
Selalu... aku ingat pasanganku
Selalu... Ibu ingat kat aku
Bila..bila.. . aku akan talipon pasanganku
Entah bila.. aku nak talipon Ibu
Selalu... aku belikan hadiah untuk pasanganku
Entah bila.... aku nak belikan hadiah untuk Ibuku

Renungkan:

Dulu Ibu kata: "Kalau kamu sudah habis belajar dan berkerja... bolehkah kamu kirim wang untuk Ibu? Ibu
bukan nak banyak... lima puluh ringgit sebulan pun cukuplah".

Berderai air mata. Hari ini kalau Ibu mahu lima ratus sebulan pun aku mampu. Aku boleh kirimkan.



Tapi Ibu sudah tiada. ingatlah pengorbanan ibuuuuu....
MEKONG GIANT FISH

Fishers in northern Thailand netted this huge catfish in the Mekong River on May 1. Nearly nine feet long (2.7 meters) and as big as a grizzly bear, the behemoth tipped the scales at 646 pounds (293 kilograms). Experts say the fish, which belongs to the species known as the Mekong giant catfish, may be the largest freshwater fish ever recorded.

Thai fishers struggled for more than an hour to haul in the record-breaking Mekong giant catfish. Officials from Thailand 's Inland Fishery Deparment then used aperformance-enhancing drug to stimulate the pituitary gland of the female fish in order to prepare it for a breeding program (above). Despite efforts to keep the bear-size catfish alive, it died and was later eaten by villagers.

MEKONG GIANT FISH @ strange pictures

Thai fisheries officials had hoped to release this adult female Mekong giant catfish after they stripped it of eggs (above) for a captive-breeding program. But the whopping fish, which was as big a grizzly bear, didn't survive.

MEKONG GIANT FISH @ strange pictures

Listed a critically endangered by the World Conservation Union (IUCN), the Mekong giant catfish is one of the world's largest freshwater fishes. Other contenders include the Chinese paddlefish and the dog-eating catfish—another Mekong River giant.

After a record-breaking Mekong giant catfish died, residents of Hat Khrai, a Thai village on the Mekong River , butchered the fish for its meat.